In this Roadblock, one team member had to rappel 100 feet (30 m) into the chalk cellars of the winery of Leclerc Briant to search for a bottle of champagne specially marked with a small yellow and red striped flag on the bottom amongst the riddling racks.
Team members doing the Roadblock:
Beastly: No Heart pushes Beastly down. Beastly gets out of control, and starts knocking bottles off, as he goes down he shouts, "N-n-n-n-no heart."
Big Mac: He rappels down to the bottom, looks frantically for the marked bottle and says, "it would sure be easier if these were apples. Eyup."
Bill: Bill rappels down and lands on Big Mac's back. Big Mac asks Bill to form an alliance and they work together.
Dr Evil: Dr Evil rappels down but gets stuck halfway and is left dangling midair, screaming, "someone throw me a freaking bone here."
Rocky: Rocky zips down, and in among the chaos of galloping hooves and rolling wine bottles, one of the marked bottles rolls over his foot. He grabs it and rappels back up.
Shifu: Shifu lands in the bottom of the cave, while Vegeta is throwing bottles around, trying to find the right one. Shifu grabs the bottles flying towards him and starts juggling them. In his haste, Vegeta doesn't notice he's thrown away one of the bottles with a flag on it. Shifu grabs the marked bottle, leaving the other bottles he was juggling on the floor, tripping up Vegeta.
Vegeta: Vegeta starts throwing Beastly out of his way, looking for the wine bottle. Beastly knocks Bill off Big Mac, and Nappa yells down, "hey, Vegeta, did you hear that? It's a wine bottle." Vegeta growls back, "Nappa when I get back up there, I'm going to kill to you," to which Nappa replies, "but then we'd never win the race, Vegeta."
Whitney: Whitney starts rappelling down. But Michael Jackson grabs her line, swinging her around saying "wheee Whitney, you're flying, just like Peter Pan."
DETOUR
Teams have a choice between Tower or Terra
In Tower, teams had to stack 680 into a 15-level pyramid with only one coupe on the top level, then pour the entire contents of a magnumTaittinger champagne onto the top of the pyramid – all without breaking any of the glasses – in order to receive their next clue.
In Terra, teams searched the 1-square-kilometre (250-acre) winter-barren Taittinger for a cluster of wine grapesmarked with the race flag. After finding the grapes, they returned it to the harvest foreman for their next clue.
Teams doing Tower:
Beastly and No Heart
Dr Evil and Nappa
Ghost Nappa and Vegeta
Po and Shifu
Teams doing Terra:
Adam and Bill
Applejack and Big Mac
Frank and Rocky
Michael Jackson and Whitney
Highlights
The Producers went through the footage and were unable to produce any highlights. We apologize for the inconvenience. This message has been brought to you by the Missing Bert Bureau. *
Po and Shifu are the first to complete their tower. Shifu jumps up Po to put the champagne in the glass, but the angle of the tower is wrong and the champagne flows into Po's mouth, making him drunk and he starts to get drunk, wobbling around with Shifu on his shoulders. Shifu rolls off the shoulders, smashing Beastly and No Heart's perfect pyramid in the process.
*No Heart asks Beastly if he knows how to pyramid. Beastly says, "nyeh-heh-heh. Of course I do, N-no heart, I've made a dozen of them." But, first he makes a square box, then he makes an upside down pyramid, then he makes a butterfly but none of them even resemble a pyramid causing No-heart to lose his temper and in his rage, he becomes a tornado and accidentally blows all the cups into a pyramid shape.
*Nappa also gets into the champagne. and starts to hiccup wildly saying, "Hic-hey Vegeta, hic, hey Vegeta hic, Vegeta-hic. It's a CHAMPANGE-hic Vegeta. He showers everyone with the champagne and says, "look Vegeta-hig it's a champagne shower, Vegeta. HIC" Vegeta gets angry and uses his energy beam to destroy the tower, invoking he and Nappa with a penalty.
*Dr Evil and Minime. Dr Evil uses his evil intellect to build the tower. But it takes him a few tries to fill the tower with champagne because he has to keep throwing Minime up in the air, along with the champagne bottle.
Quotes
*Dr Evil says to Minime, "You need to stop eating all those freaking donuts. You're getting heavy."
*Another message just in from the Missing Bert Bureau: Have you seen this guy called Bert? Wait. Wrong message. None of the other contestants were available for comment, due to massive intoxication.
TERRA
*Highlights
*All the teams work together in one huge alliance. They pluck all the grapes and madly start stomping them to make wine. As Frank and Rocky, Michael Jackson and Whitney sing, "it's just a jump to the left, and a step to the right. You put your hands on your hips and stomp the grapes all nightttttt. And then you drink the juice that makes you insannnnne. Let's do the wine dance againnnnnnnn. Let's do the wine dance agaiiiiiiiiiiiiin." They find the race markers and celebrate with their very own Catalina wine mixer.
Lowlights and Quotes
Another message in from the Missing Bert Bureau. Ernie can be heard cutting in, "wait a minute you're not Bert. Wait is this thing on? You haven't seen a guy who is yellow, with sticky up hair, and a stripey shirt?" Bert can be heard from behind saying, "ERNIE I AM STILL ME." before the real message cuts in to apologize for the lack of lowlights on this detour, as well as everyone being too intoxicated for any comments.
PIT STOP
The first team to arrive is Adam and Bill. still drunk from the last challenge. "Adam and Bill," says Bert, "you're team number one!" Adam and Bill grab Ernie and Bert and polka dancing with them Adam accidentally trips over, sending Ernie and Bert onto the pit stop mat and Ernie accidentally says, "Ernie and Bert, you're team number two and that means you are still in the race."
In the actual second place is Michael Jackson and Whitney's ghosts, who trip over Ernie and Bert. "Ernie you can't check us into the pit stop, we're not even in this race," Bert exclaims, "Michael Jackson and Whitney you're team number two and that means you are still racing. Michael Jackson and Whitney join in the dancing and start singing "Just the two of us," in honor of being team number.
Dr Evil and Minime come into 3rd place, and they start having a dance off with Whitney and Michael, because it's their song, saying, "that's our song!" while Adam, Bert, Ernie and Bill continue to polka dance.
The fourth place team makes their way to the pit stop. It is Frank and Rocky, who are all like oooh dance off and they join in, pelvic thrusting everybody.
5th to arrive is Beastly and No Heart. No Heart asks Beastly if he can win a danceoff. Beastly says, "oh sure I know all about winning dance offs....what is it?" before he starts dancing, while No Heart does the twist.
6th place goes to Po and Shifu, who join in the dancing, but they do belly dancing, with Po trying to hit everyone with his enormous belly.
Nappa and Vegeta come into 7th place and look very confused as to what's going on, because the pit stop seems to have turned into a disco. Nappa, "hey Vegeta. Did we go to the wrong show Vegeta? 'Cause it looks like we're on Dancing with the Stars, Vegeta." Vegeta replies, "we're leaving Nappa," as soon as he hears they haven't lost. Nappa is dragged yelling, "no Vegeta, I want to do the macarena, Vegeta. I want to do line dancing, Vegeta. I can dance a straight line, or a curvy line!!"
As Applejack and Big Mac, come into the pit stop, having been held up by copious amounts of hay that sidetracked them, Ernie starts, "Applejack and Big Mac. You are the last team to arrive, and I am sorry to tell you that does mean you've been eliminated from the race." All Big Mac says is, "eyup."
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