Sunday, August 11, 2013

Amazing Race Leg 7 Recap

Teams are now flying to Seychelles.

First up is the DETOUR This leg's Detour was Turtle Toddle or Ox Trot. In Turtle Toddle, teams had to use a banana to lure a 500-pound (230 kg), 100-year-old Aldabra Giant Tortoise across a marked path on a lawn. Once it was across the finish line, teams had to deliver a bunch of bananas to a fruit merchant 1.5 miles (2.4 km) away to receive their next clue. In Ox Trot, teams had to pull a cart to a clearing and load a pile of coconuts into it. Then, after an ox was hitched to their cart, teams had to deliver their coconuts to a fruit merchant to receive their clue. If they forgot or lost any of the coconuts, teams had to retrieve them before being allowed to continue.

Teams doing Turtle Toddle:
Adam and Bill
Michael Jaqckson and Whitney
Nappa and Vegeta






Teams doing Ox Trot:
Beastly and No Heart
Dr Evil and Minime
Frank and Rocky
Po and Shifu



TURTLE TODDLE

Highlights
*Whitney and Michael sing to the turtle, while they coax it across with the Banana Boat song by Harry Delafonte.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMigXnXMhQ4

Lowlights
*For Bill and Adam: To save time, and Bill's a slow walker, Adam puts Bill on top of the turtle, but as he's coaxing the turtle with the banana, the turtle stumbles sending Bill flying face-first into the banana. The banana gets stuck in Bill's nostril and Adam has to perform a variation of the Heimlich maneuver, called the Nostril maneuver, jamming a finger into Bill's open nostril, and jumping on Bill's chest. The banana goes flying, hitting Vegeta in the back of the head.

*Vegeta is in such a hurry to finish the race, that he leaves the banana in his hair. Vegeta tries to coax the turtle with the banana. But Nappa keeps asking him, "are we there yet?", "are we there yet?", "are we there yet?" and Vegeta gets so mad, he shoves the banana in Nappa's mouth and picks up Nappa and the turtle and carries them to the end of the detour, all the while Nappa can be heard saying, with the banana in his mouth(muffled), "are we there yet?", "ar re ere yet?"

Quotes
*Adam to Bill: "Wow, I should be a Nostril surgeon."
Bill: Ah Adam, I don't think they exist.
Adam: They do now.

*Michael and Whitney together, "dayooo, dayoooooo"

*Nappa says to Vegeta, "hey Vegeta. I like the way that banana parted your hair Vegeta. It's a real banana split."

OX TROT

Highlights
*Shifu is loading the cart with the coconuts and notices that they are exceptionally light. He turns to see Po biting the top of the coconuts and sucking all the milk out of them. The lightweight coconuts help them to finish the detour first. Po has to stop and pee every few minutes because of all the coconut milk but they still reach the fruit merchant first.

Lowlights
*Frank and Rocky get held up, because Frank keeps insisting on trying to make coconut bras while Rocky keeps singing to Frank, "you've got a lovely bunch of coconuts"

*Dr Evil and Minime make a ramp so that Minime can put the coconuts into the cart. But Beastly sabotages it, by turning the ramp into a see-saw, and dropping a rock on one end of it, launching Minime into the air. Beastly catches him in the potato sack and hangs him in a tree. Dr Evil doesn't notice, because he has his back turned, picking up coconuts. Dr Evil can't find Minime, so he starts taking the cart without him, but them finds him hanging in a sack in a tree, and says "what are you doing hanging around? We gotta win this race."

*While Beastly has been sabotaging Dr Evil and Minime, No Heart has been doing all the work, loading the cart with coconuts and now he;s hot, sweaty and irritated. Beastly finally shows up and No Heart picks him up and throws him into the cart which causes an avalanche of coconuts and Beastly and the coconuts go rolling off screen.

Quotes
Dr Evil: Can I just get a freaking evil assistant to help me move these coconuts? Someone throw me a freaking bone here.

*Beastly: It's time to sideline the competition.

*Frank and Rocky see Beastly roll past and sing, "Rolling, he's rolling down the coconut river."

*No Heart: Beastlyyyyyyy if you don't get back here, you'll be made into a coconut cream pie!!
Beastly: But n-n-n-n-o heart I don't want to be in a coconut pie.

In the leg's Roadblock, one team member had to dive into the ocean to retrieve one of seven bottles tied to a platform in the water.

Bill: Adam has such poor directional skills, that he keeps yelling Bill go left, no your other left. Bill has to stop and take frequent breaks cause water keeps going in his nostril after the banana incident. Every time he comes up, he's blowing water like a whale's blow horn which is kind of fun, so Adam has to keep reminding him to get the bottle and stop fooling around.

No Heart: No Heart turns into a sword fish and dives down to get the bottle, but when he comes back up, he looks a bit like the poster from the movie JAWS.

 Minime: Dr Evil just throws Minime down but he keeps floating back up. Dr Evil grabs him and gives him a huge squeeze. Minime gives a huge belch, and the next time he sinks and is able to grab one of the bottles and bring it back.

Frank and Rocky get into an argumen over who does this one, because Frank doesn't want to get his hair wet.

Rocky: Rocky just does it, but before he dives in, he lifts off Frank's coconut shell bra and uses the hollow coconuts to help hm swim faster.

Vegeta: Vegeta picks this roadblock, so that he can wash the banana out of his hair, but when he dives in the water, the scent of banana attracts a sea of school turtles, and he has to wrestle his way through them to get the next clue.

Whitney: She dives down, and grabs the clue while Michael Jackson tells her before she leaves, "just remember the Banana Boat song." and he sings it from above.

Po: Po runs and jumps in, doing a huge cannonball which splashes everybody The camera crew run away screaming, "Tsunami." Shifu says, "it's not a tsunami you idiots, it's Po."


PIT STOP

Po and Shifu come running across the checkin mat, bowling over Bert and Ernie, it seems like they are being chased by a homocidal machete waving fruit merchant, who has just discovered that all the coconuts have had their milk sucked out, leaving him a cart of hollow coconuts. They run off screen with Ernie calling after them, "Hey Po and Shifu you guys are  team number one! Hey Bert you think they got the point?"

Beastly and No Heart come charging up, with No Heart the sharp nose of the sword fish, poking Beastly in the butt, pulling into second place. "Beastly and No Heart," says Ernie, "you guys are team number two. And that means you are still in the race."

Michael Jackson and Whitney moonwalk into 3rd place, singing the Banana Boat song with an army of turtles behind them.

Nappa and Vegeta go into 4th place, but as they are standing on the checkin mat, shaking Bert and Ernie's hand, Po and Shifu come running back in, and cause a huge collision. The last in the pileup is the angry fruit merchant. Ernie goes to give him a hand and accidentally pulls off his hat, revealing...that the fruit merchant is Darth Vader, who is angry about being eliminated to early last season. Ernie says, "well, don't worry Darth Vader. As a parting gift for you, we have a lovely bunch of coconuts and don't feel bad about losing. You can always try out for Amazing Race Canada." Po and Shifu collect their prize of a fruit orchard, and a lifetime supply of coconut and baanan cream pie Plus a year time's suscription to Jenny Craig." To which Shifu, "I'll give my subscription to Po, so he can be in it for two years."

Dramatic 3-way foot race between Adam and Bill, Dr Evil and Minime and Frank and Rocky. While the Chariots of Fire theme music plays.

Beastly attaches a hook to the back of Dr Evil's pants, so every time he tries to move forward, he goes back, until he goes flying back so far that he falls into Frank and Rocky, who also fall over .

Adam and Bill slide into 5th because they weren't part of the sabotage, then go to eat some coconut cream pie.

Dr Evil and Minime: Minime chews through the rope holding Dr Evil and they race into 6th place, while Dr Evil points to Beastly and mouths, "I'll get you." leaving a dramatic rivalry for the next leg of the race.

Frank and Rocky come in last, and Bert steps up saying, "Frank and Rocky. You are the last team to arrive and I am sorry to tell you, that does mean you've been eliminated from the race." Frank starts singing, "I'm going home."

Friday, July 5, 2013

Amazing Race: Leg 6 Recap

Roadblock:
In this Roadblock, one team member had to rappel 100 feet (30 m) into the chalk cellars of the winery of Leclerc Briant to search for a bottle of champagne specially marked with a small yellow and red striped flag on the bottom amongst the riddling racks.
Team members doing the Roadblock:

Beastly: No Heart pushes Beastly down. Beastly gets out of control, and starts knocking bottles off, as he goes down he shouts, "N-n-n-n-no heart."

Big Mac: He rappels down to the bottom, looks frantically for the marked bottle and says, "it would sure be easier if these were apples. Eyup."

Bill: Bill rappels down and lands on Big Mac's back. Big Mac asks Bill to form an alliance and they work together.

Dr Evil: Dr Evil rappels down but gets stuck halfway and is left dangling midair, screaming, "someone throw me a freaking bone here."

Rocky: Rocky zips down, and in among the chaos of galloping hooves and rolling wine bottles, one of the marked bottles rolls over his foot. He grabs it and rappels back up.

Shifu: Shifu lands in the bottom of the cave, while Vegeta is throwing bottles around, trying to find the right one. Shifu grabs the bottles flying towards him and starts juggling them. In his haste, Vegeta doesn't notice he's thrown away one of the bottles with a flag on it. Shifu grabs the marked bottle, leaving the other bottles he was juggling on the floor, tripping up Vegeta.

Vegeta: Vegeta starts throwing Beastly out of his way, looking for the wine bottle. Beastly knocks Bill off Big Mac, and Nappa yells down, "hey, Vegeta, did you hear that? It's a wine bottle." Vegeta growls back, "Nappa when I get back up there, I'm going to kill to you," to which Nappa replies, "but then we'd never win the race, Vegeta."

Whitney: Whitney starts rappelling down. But Michael Jackson grabs her line, swinging her around saying "wheee Whitney, you're flying, just like Peter Pan."

DETOUR

Teams have a choice between Tower or Terra

In Tower, teams had to stack 680  into a 15-level pyramid with only one coupe on the top level, then pour the entire contents of a magnumTaittinger champagne onto the top of the pyramid – all without breaking any of the glasses – in order to receive their next clue.
In Terra, teams searched the 1-square-kilometre (250-acre) winter-barren Taittinger  for a cluster of wine grapesmarked with the race flag. After finding the grapes, they returned it to the harvest foreman for their next clue.
Teams doing Tower:
Beastly and No Heart
Dr Evil and Nappa
Ghost Nappa and Vegeta
Po and Shifu

Teams doing Terra:
Adam and Bill
Applejack and Big Mac
Frank and Rocky
Michael Jackson and Whitney

  Highlights
The Producers went through the footage and were unable to produce any highlights. We apologize for the inconvenience. This message has been brought to you by the Missing Bert Bureau. *

Po and Shifu are the first to complete their tower. Shifu jumps up Po to put the champagne in the glass, but the angle of the tower is wrong and the champagne flows into Po's mouth, making him drunk and he starts to get drunk, wobbling around with Shifu on his shoulders. Shifu rolls off the shoulders, smashing Beastly and No Heart's perfect pyramid in the process.

*No Heart asks Beastly if he knows how to pyramid. Beastly says, "nyeh-heh-heh. Of course I do, N-no heart, I've made a dozen of them." But, first he makes a square box, then he makes an upside down pyramid, then he makes a butterfly but none of them even resemble a pyramid causing No-heart to lose his temper and in his rage, he becomes a tornado and accidentally blows all the cups into a pyramid shape.

*Nappa also gets into the champagne. and starts to hiccup wildly saying, "Hic-hey Vegeta, hic, hey Vegeta hic, Vegeta-hic. It's a CHAMPANGE-hic Vegeta. He showers everyone with the champagne and says, "look Vegeta-hig it's a champagne shower, Vegeta. HIC" Vegeta gets angry and uses his energy beam to destroy the tower, invoking he and Nappa with a penalty.

*Dr Evil and Minime. Dr Evil uses his evil intellect to build the tower. But it takes him a few tries to fill the tower with champagne because he has to keep throwing Minime up in the air, along with the champagne bottle.

Quotes

*Dr Evil says to Minime, "You need to stop eating all those freaking donuts. You're getting heavy."

*Another message just in from the Missing Bert Bureau: Have you seen this guy called Bert? Wait. Wrong message. None of the other contestants were available for comment, due to massive intoxication. 



TERRA

*Highlights
*All the teams work together in one huge alliance. They pluck all the grapes and madly start stomping them to make wine. As Frank and Rocky, Michael Jackson and Whitney sing, "it's just a jump to the left, and a step to the right. You put your hands on your hips and stomp the grapes all nightttttt. And then you drink the juice that makes you insannnnne. Let's do the wine dance againnnnnnnn. Let's do the wine dance agaiiiiiiiiiiiiin." They find the race markers and celebrate with their very own Catalina wine mixer. 

Lowlights and Quotes

Another message in from the Missing Bert Bureau. Ernie can be heard cutting in, "wait a minute you're not Bert. Wait is this thing on? You haven't seen a guy who is yellow, with sticky up hair, and a stripey shirt?" Bert can be heard from behind saying, "ERNIE I AM STILL ME." before the real message cuts in to apologize for the lack of lowlights on this detour, as well as everyone being too intoxicated for any comments.












PIT STOP

The first team to arrive is Adam and Bill. still drunk from the last challenge. "Adam and Bill," says Bert, "you're team number one!" Adam and Bill grab Ernie and Bert and polka dancing with them Adam accidentally trips over, sending Ernie and Bert onto the pit stop mat and Ernie accidentally says, "Ernie and Bert, you're team number two and that means you are still in the race." 

In the actual second place is Michael Jackson and Whitney's ghosts, who trip over Ernie and Bert. "Ernie you can't check us into the pit stop, we're not even in this race," Bert exclaims, "Michael Jackson and Whitney you're team number two and that means you are still racing. Michael Jackson and Whitney join in the dancing and start singing "Just the two of us," in honor of being team number. 

Dr Evil and Minime come into 3rd place, and they start having a dance off with Whitney and Michael, because it's their song, saying, "that's our song!" while Adam, Bert, Ernie and Bill continue to polka dance. 

The fourth place team makes their way to the pit stop. It is Frank and Rocky, who are all like oooh dance off and they join in, pelvic thrusting everybody. 

5th to arrive is Beastly and No Heart. No Heart asks Beastly if he can win a danceoff. Beastly says, "oh sure I know all about winning dance offs....what is it?" before he starts dancing, while No Heart does the twist. 

6th place goes to Po and Shifu, who join in the dancing, but they do belly dancing, with Po trying to hit everyone with his enormous belly. 

Nappa and Vegeta come into 7th place and look very confused as to what's going on, because the pit stop seems to have turned into a disco. Nappa, "hey Vegeta. Did we go to the wrong show Vegeta? 'Cause it looks like we're on Dancing with the Stars, Vegeta." Vegeta replies, "we're leaving Nappa," as soon as he hears they haven't lost. Nappa is dragged yelling, "no Vegeta, I want to do the macarena, Vegeta. I want to do line dancing, Vegeta. I can dance a straight line, or a curvy line!!" 

As Applejack and Big Mac, come into the pit stop, having been held up by copious amounts of hay that sidetracked them, Ernie starts, "Applejack and Big Mac. You are the last team to arrive, and I am sorry to tell you that does mean you've been eliminated from the race." All Big Mac says is, "eyup."