Teams make their way from Germany to France.
DETOUR
In this Leg's Detour, teams chose between In the Trenches or Under Fire. For both tasks, teams dressed up as World War I-era American soldiers, known as Doughboys.
In the Trenches, teams traveled through trenches to a telegraph where they had to decipher a message in Morse code –"We will prevail. Vive la France."– and then presented their deciphered message to the French sergeant.
In Under Fire, teams crawled under barbed wire 100 feet to receive a message –"The war is over. Vive la liberté."– from a man in a foxhole. They then crawled back through the barbed wire to present the message to the sergeant. Before either task was completed and the teams received their clue, the message they received was sent to "headquarters" via carrier pigeon.
Teams doing In the Trenches
*Po and Shifu
*Applejack and Big Mac
*Dr Evil and Minime
*Frankenfurter and Rocky
Teams doing Under Fire
*Adam and Bill
*Beastly and No Heart
*Ghost Nappa and Vegeta
*Gru and Vector
*Michael Jackson and Whitney's ghosts
IN THE TRENCHES
Highlights
* Po and Shifu make it to the telegraph first, because Po thinks he's going to get Pillsbury crescent rolls and starts looking for the Pillsbury doughboy. Shifu hits him with the stick to keep him moving.
Lowlights
*Frankenfurter doesn't want to get his clothes dirty, so he and Rocky jump on Applejack and Big Mac, slowing the other team down. When Big Mac and Applejack get to the telegraph they buck Frank and Rocky off, making them land in a big mud puddle.
*Dr Evil loses Minime in a mud hole, and has to feel around to fish him out.
Quotes
Po "Shifu where are the crescent rolls? When they said doughboys I expected Pillsbury"
Po "Poke me and die old man, you should know better than to poke a hungry bear."
Applejack and Big Mac say "Last stop on the pony express, " before bucking off Frank and Rocky.
Dr Evil, "come to daddy Minime, oh you stink."
UNDER FIRE
Highlights
*Bill and Adam suffer a temporary setback because Bill's pants get snagged on the barbed wire. Adam comes back and yanks Bill out of his pants, who finishes the detour in his underwear.
* No Heart turns into a tornado, whirling through the detour, carrying Beastly with him.
Lowlights
*Nappa and Vegeta get held up because Nappa keeps scratching his back with the barbed wire and purring like a kitten.
*Michael Jackson and Whitney get held up, because Michael Jackson keeps trying to steal the man in the foxhole's french military jacket, because he wants it for his next video.
*Gru and Vector use the shrink ray to shrink the wire, but they accidentally change the settings, so the wire ends up huge and everybody runs under it with no problem.
Quotes
*Michael Jackson and French lieutenant, "Oui," "non," "Oui!" "Non, non, monsieur Jackson. It is my coat!" Michael Jackson hits the lieutenant with the baguette and takes the coat anyway.
Whitney says "Michael's gone gangster! He's bad, bad, bad you know it!"
*Adam to Bill: You have to crawl under there
Bill: Under where?
Adam: Ha I made you say underwear and now I can see your underwear.
Nappa: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Vegeta: Goddamnit, Nappa.
Gru: Run for it!!
BLIND U-TURN
Po and Shifu run past the u-turn, not wanting to use it. However Beastly and No Heart get to it second and decide to use it. Beastly and No Heart show up at the blind u-turn sign but Beastly falls on it and breaks it. No Heart says "What it is?" and then realises it's the u-turn sign. Beastly starts shouting, "we're going to win, we're going to win this leg."
Beastly says "let's u-turn Gru and Vector..no, no no, Dr Evil and Minime, no no, Nappa and Vegeta..."
No Heart says "No we're going to u-turn someone who actually cares." No Heart puts up Michael and Jackson and Whitney's ghosts picture, which means they have to go back and do the trenches.
The ponies and Adam and Bill end up at the u-turn at the same time.
"Who do you think did this?"
"Beats me, but we have to go to the pit stop now, so we better beat it. "
Vegeta using his super saiyan swagger, looks around and sees the sign has been flattened and put back up and says to Nappa, "it must've been that windbag No Heart and that Beastly. "
Nappa says "Sucks to be you, MJ and Whitney. "
Michael Jackson and Whitney see they've been u-turned and Michael Jackson starts to cry. Whitney grabs him, and drags him along saying "we don't have time for this, here's a tissue. " They go back to the trenches where they're chased by the french lieutenant who keeps screaming, "give me back my coat you smooth criminal, monsieur Jackson, you better take a look at the man in the mirror because he's bad, bad, bad you know it! Sacrebleu! Zut alors! Merde! ScheiSSe oh that is not french. Come back Michael Jackson. Heal the World. Michael Jackson waves the jacket behind him saying "vive la liberte for the coat!"
PIT STOP
Ernie and Bert wait at the pit stop. And suprisingly, in first place is Michael Jackson and Whitney. Michael Jackson wins/steals a free coat, courtesy of the french lieutenant. Whitney wins a new album called Let the spirit move you.
In second place, is the french lieutenant but he's not part of the race, so Ernie and Bert say "KIDNAP THAT FOOL" and drag him off. They give him a consolation prize, of a pink raincoat and he walks off like "Yes I'm a lady" which makes Bert raise his eyebrows.
The real second place team is Po and Shifu, with Shifu hitting Po with the stick screaming.
The third place team is Adam and Bill. Shifu drops the stick that he was hitting Po with, tripping Bill and Adam, who slide headfirst into third place, high fiving Bert and Ernie from the ground.
The fourth place team is Beastly and No Heart. No Heart gets really angry, "BEASTLYYYYYYYYYYYYY" because even though they u-turned MJ and Whitney, they still came in first. "n-n-n-n-o heart," Beastly says. No Heart grabs the stick and chases Beastly off the pit stop. "N-n-n-n-o Heart it's not my fault. Oh if only the care bears were here to distract you."
In fifth place is Applejack and Big Mac, who gallop in.. Bert and Ernie congratulate Big Mac and Applejack. "You are the 5th place team and that means you are still in the race." "Eyup"
In sixth place is Ghost Nappa and Vegeta. "Hey Vegeta, " says Nappa," guess what place we're in Vegeta."
"We're in sixth place Nappa." "No we're in 666 Vegeta." "What does that mean Nappa?" "It means....I've got a stuttering problem." "We're leaving Nappa."
In seventh place is Frankenfurter and Rocky. "Frank and Rocky, you are team number 7 and that means you are still in the race."
In eighth place is Dr Evil and Minime, who think they're in last and are all set to attack Bert and Ernie when Bert and Ernie tell them they are "team number 8 and are still in the race for 1 millionnn dolllarssss"
In last place is Gru and Vector. While trying to change the shrink ray settings after the barbed wire debacle, they accidentally shrink themselves and it takes them forever to get to the pit stop.
"Gru and Vector," Says Bert, "you are the last team to arrive and I am sorry to tell you, you have been eliminated from the race. " Since they are out of the race, and no longer a threat, Dr Evil who is good with frikkin laser beams, helps fix their shrink ray and returns them back to normal size.
