Elimination Station: Kermit and Piggy arrive

Everyone is sitting around blocking their ears to shut out the tootie tootie tootie tootie tootie toot from Squidward's clarinet. Everyone is shocked to see Kermit and piggy arrive on the scene. They tell everyone what happened and how Hannibal and Jigsaw sabotaged them.

"Excellent, " says Mr Burns. Piggy snaps "I'll snap you like a twig old man."

Burns hides behind Smithers.

As Piggy tries to karate chop him, Mr Burns hides in the closet and finds a toy car for children and gets in. Just before he drives out the closet gives a reading of 79 percent blackness 11 percent teddy bears and sunshine and 10 percent Horrible driver. Mr Burns drives the children's car into everyone and yells "Get out of my way, I'm a motorist."

It is total chaos at the elimination station as Piggy chases Burns in his toy car that hits Patrick and Squidward sending them flying into the air. Squidward's clarinet goes flying and bonks Yoda in the head who goes down for the count. Obi-wan is trying to do CPR on Yoda while Kermit and Spongebob try to avoid getting run over.Finally Smithers stands up on a coffee table in the middle of the room and yells STOP! at the top of his lungs. No one has ever heard Smithers raise his voice like that, so everyone stops what they are doing.

Yoda wakes up in time to say: "He has brought balance back to the force that Smithers he has"

Everyone decides on who they want to win and lose the race.

Burns and Smithers back Hannibal and Jigsaw. Burns wants Road Rage to win . Squidward and Plankton want Hannibal and Jigsaw to win. Spongebob and Patrick want Bob and Susan to win. Yoda and Obi want Bob and Susan to win.Kermit and Piggy want the old guys to win so they can move into a retirement home and out of the theatre box.

Kermit and Piggy want Hannibal and Jigsaw out.Burns changes to wanting the autobots to win so there isn't a traffic jam at the elimination station. Yoda and Obi-wan support Kermit and Piggy feeling that the dark side is strong within Hannibal and Jigsaw.Spongebob and and Patrick say why can't we all just get along. Squidward toots his clarinet and Burns toots his horn, drowning out any other responses.

Exit interview with Miss Piggy and Kermit

How were you feeling when you arrived at the pitstop and you knew you were behind the other teams? Was there any hope you could last another week?

Kermit to Adam:Well Adam first let me start by saying it's not easy being green. But I think we raced hard and I couldn't have asked for a better racing partner.

Piggy: Oh Kermy, mwua mwua mwua mwua mwua.

Adam: Wow i've never seen a green frog turn red before.

Piggy: Well of course we could have lasted another week Adam and probably even won the race with Kermy's brains and my dainty feminine charms. *batting her eye-lashes at the camera*

Now where are those two cheating nitwits I'm gonna tear them a new...

Adam jumps in with the next question before Piggy can finish.

What will you do now the race is over?

Adam: So now that the race is over for you two, what will you do? Kermit, I guess you'll be bringing home the bacon? Dohohohoho

Piggy: Oh you think that's funny Adam? Try this for funny! Hiiiiiiiiii Yaaaaa!

*Adam disappears from the screen*

Piggy: I don't need this chump show. Oh Porject Runway Your starlette is coming. *bats eyelasshes again and blows kisses into the camera as she throws Kermit over her shoulder and carries him off with her*

Disclaimer: We at TAR Contest blog do not condone violence against TV show hosts...

BING..

We do however find it hilarious.

Staler and Waldorf appear standing over top of an unconscious Adam.S and W at the same time:"Adam's down."

They pick him up and carry him off. Statler: Hey Waldorf do you think this means we'll get a rest from racing my feet are killing me.Statler"With the smell of your feet I'm surprised he's not already dead dohohohohoho."

The smell of Statler's feet wakes up Adam and he returns to the race, having stolen the old guys walking sticks.

Amazing Race Season 2: Episode 5 Recap

FAST FORWARD

In this Fast Forward, teams went to the Cooling Station of the Orlando Power Station and then walked across a suspension bridge 30 feet (9.1 m) above the ground, once crossed, that team would win the Fast Forward.

Teams scramble for the fast forward. To hold other teams back, Statler and Waldorf barricade the box with their walking sticks and grab it and head to the bridge.

Statler: Hey Waldorf?

W: What is it?

S: You know how we're always saying will cross that bridge when we get to it?

W: Yah?

S: Well... We're too it. Dohohoho So.... you first.

S: How long do you think it will take us to get across?

W: Well... at this rate we'll be fossils by the time we do.

S: Fossils? I thought we already were? Dohohoho.

DETOUR

In this Detour, teams choose between Tunnels or Tribes. In Tribes, teams went to Lesedi Cultural Village where the tribes (Basotho, Ndebele, Pedi, Xhosa and Zulu) were represented. Once there, teams had to deliver five items to their respective tribes. Only five of which was the correct item to the corresponding tribe, it was exchanged for a necklace. When they got all five necklaces, they exchanged them for their next clue. In Tunnels, teams went to Wild Caves where teams took to the underground, rappeling down into a cave 45 feet (14 m) below and traveled through the dark cave where they had to search for their next clue.

Teams doing Tunnels

Alf and E.T

Bumblebee and Optimus

Hannibal and Jigsaw

Kermit and Miss Piggy

Teams doing Tribes

Bob and Susan

Mark and Roger

Scooby and Shaggy

Simba and Nala

TUNNELS

HIGHLIGHTS

*E.T uses his glowing finger to light the way and uses his magical powers to lift Alf down. All the glowworms follow the light E.T's finger down to the bottom.

*Bumblebee is scared to go down. Optimus steps down and then Bumblebee follows. It doesn't take long for either of them to get to the bottom.

LOWLIGHTS

*Hannibal and Jigsaw cut Kermit and Piggy's ropes and they go crashing to the bottom of the pit but end up landing right on top of the clue.

*As Hannibal and Jigsaw get to the bottom and start searching for the clue, Kermit and Piggy use their ropes to climb back up and out leaving them stranded with the cut rope.

QUOTES

Optimus" Hurry up Bumblebee you've been in potholes deeper than this!"

Bumblebee responds with Bruce Springsteen's "I'm going down, down, down."

Jigsaw to Hannibal "I hope you haven't invested in the price of pork bellies because the price is about to drop," as he cuts the rope.

TRIBES

Highlights

*Simba and Nala get honored by the tribal leaders and quickly get their necklaces.

*Bob tries out some Spanish on the tribal leaders who have no idea what he's saying but point him in the right direction.

Lowlights

*Mark sings Roger's song Your Eyes to Bob.Bob swoons and Roger gets annoyed at Mark for stealing his song and they get into a fight and Mark sings "Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and Bob's guitar?" to which Roger tells little blob hey, the door is that way.

*Scooby and Shaggy meet one of the tribal leaders wearing a headdress. Shaggy can't see them but Scooby is pointing behind him and freaking out and Shaggy says "like there's a ghost right behind me, isn't there?" He turns around they both run away.

Quotes

Shaggy "Scooby I don't know how you do the voodoo that you do but it makes me want to run. Let's go Scoob. "

Bob "Donde es mi amigo se llama Mark?" (Mark has a stalker now. )

Simba and Nala "Finally, we get to be treated like king and queen."

ROADBLOCK

In this Roadblock, one team member had to search a marketplace and find the vendors for five items that were later to be delivered to a local children's orphanage to earn their next clue.

Team members doing the roadblock:

Alf: Gets off to a good start but starts playing with the items that he receives that are meant to go to the orphanage.

Jigsaw: Jigsaw likes that the task is like a puzzle and delivers the items quite quickly.

Nala : Nala doesn't have to worry about the crowds in the marketplace, because being a lion, most people get out of her way.

Optimus Prime: Optimus gets held up as someone tries to steal his hubcaps.

Piggy: Parts the crowds with a karate chop "Hiyyyyaahhhhh," but then gets sidetracked by a vendor selling clothes and jewellery.

Roger : Is still pissed off at Mark and barges through the marketplace like a raging bull.

Shaggy: Shaggy finds all his items but he also finds all the food stalls and eats while he runs.

Susan: As Susan is searching for the items, Bob is yelling at her "try speaking Spanish, they speak Spanish here!!" and he also yells "Donde es Roger, the enemy of mi Mark!"

PIT STOP

Statler and Waldorf arrive in first. "Statler and Waldorf, " says Adam, "fellas, you're team #1! The fast forward really helped out and that's some great bridge work. " Statler and Waldorf say "Thanks it was like crossing a bridge over troubled waters." to which Adam says "No I meant your dentures. Dohohoohohohohoho." to which they say "Funny, funny, funnny." Adam tells them they have won a lounge suite for their box in the theatre, including a popcorn maker and t.v.

Mark and Roger come in second. "Mark and Roger, " says Adam, "you're team #2," to which Mark replies "Donde es mi Bob the blob? then asks Adam if he's seen a round blue blob guy anywhere to which Roger says "If you're that obsessed with him, why don't you race with him instead of me?" and storms off to which Mark replies "Take me for what I am, who was I meant to be?" Roger turns around and says "you were flirting with the blue bob who speaks Spanish." Mark replies "There will always be blue blobs speaking Spanish flirting with me?" As Bob comes to the pit stop Adam says to Mark "Maybe now you two can get back together. "

Alf and E.T come in 3rd. "Alf and E.T, " says Adam, "you're team #3!" E.T says "E.T did goooooood ," and Alf turns to E.T and says "High five for the Alfer!"

Bob and Susan arrive in 4th. "Bob and Susan, " says Adam, "you're team #4 and that means you are still in the race!" Bob says to Adam "Have you seen a rather dashing young man in bike shorts around here? Mucho gusto. Rrrrrrrrrrrr" to which Susan smacks Bob and tells him to behave.

Simba and Nala arrive in 5th. "Simba and Nala, " says Adam, "you're team #5 and that means you are still in the race. " Simba roars in approval.

Scooby and Shaggy are next to arrive. Shaggy is laden down with every food possible that he picked up from the marketplace. "Scooby and Shaggy, " says Adam, "you're team #6" then he steals all the food and eats it. Scooby says "Radam, rats rour rood. Rokay?"

Next to arrive is Bumblebee and Optimus, who arrive. "Bumblebee and Optimus, " says Adam, "you're Team #7!"

Hannibal and Jigsaw are behind Kermit and Piggy but tie a bungee cord to Piggy's back and send her flying in the other direction along with Kermit who was piggy backing her. . "What was that?" says Hannibal.

"I think the price of baccon just went soaring, " says Jigsaw as they reach the pit stop map.

"Hannibal and Jigsaw, " says Adam "you are team #8 and that means you are still in the race. "

Hannibal rubs his hands together and makes a very creepy noise with his mouth and tongue obviously very satisfied with this news.

Jigsaw high fives Hannibal and says: "We're still in the game."

Kermit and Miss Piggy run to the pit stop knowing they have been sabotaged by Hannibal and Jigsaw.

"Kermit and Piggy, " says Adam, "you are the last team to arrive. I am sorry to tell you you have both been eliminated from the race." Hannibal and Jigsaw do not get a penalty.As this is announced, the camera cuts to a shot of Jeremy Kyle and Oprah winking at the camera and saying "Ratings week."

Amazing Race Season 2 Recap #2

Teams travel to Chile.

Shaggy"Like that sounds really delicious scooby"

Scooby "rrrmmmmm hot sauce"

In this Roadblock, one team member has to shine five pairs of shoes on the street for a payment of S/.1 per pair, when five are collected, they will return back to the Shop to receive their next clue in exchange for the five sol's.

Team members doing the roadblock:

Alf: Whistles while he shines. Alf: Hey E.T look you can see your reflection in that. This shoe shines like a star!

Bob: Susan wraps the shoe shine rag around Bob leaving enough room for his eyes to peek out.Then Bob the blob wraps his body around each pair of shoes buffing them very quickly.

Bumblebee: Plays Blue Suede shoes while he shines.

Hannibal:Hannibal: Every refined man of distinction should know how to put a quality shine on a pair of shoes. Don't you think Mr. Saw?As Hannibal finishes the last shoe one of the Chileans is seen limping away.

Jigsaw: Hannibal, what are you chewing?

Hannibal: Oh Just a little lolly.

From off camera is heard someone screaming donde es mi dedo del pie/mi toe!

Kermit: Piggy: Oh merry you better do this road block because a delicate flower such as moi shouldn't get icky black shoe polish on these dainty hands.

Mark: In between shining shoes Mark jots down notes in his notebook for a documentary about bare footed Chilean peasants before realizing if he lived in Chile he would be one too. Roger singing: Hurry up hurry up or I'll kick you in the butt. Stop making silly notes or I'll feed you to some goats. Hurry up hurry up hurry up.

Scooby: Rooby rooby roo riny riny roe.

Shaggy: Hey scoobs if you shine a little faster I'll give you one of these (waving a scooby snack)

Scooby faster: Rooby rooby roo Riny riny roes.

Smithers: Burns: Smithers I can't shine shoes, I mean I did it when I was a young buck hustling my way to the top on those mean hard streets but now that type of work is beneath me. Smithers you get down there and do it!

Smithers: Yes sir. Right away sir.

Nala "And can you feel the shine tonight, it's where the racers are."

Waldorf: Statler: "Hey Waldorf"

Waldorf: Yah?

Statler: You got a lot of sole. Dohohoho

Waldorf: Hey tread lightly. Dohohohoho

Statler: Hey Waldorf these shoes remind me of a 25 cent cigar.

Waldorf: Why's that?

Statler: They're cheap and they stink. Dohohohohohoho.

Spongebob: Gets into the shoe shining. He covers his entire body being a sponge and all and starts singing "If you're gonna do it get you back into it" And backspimning on the shoes until they are all shined up.

Obi: In a buffing fury Obi accidentally flicks polish onto Yoda's face.

Yoda says: Focus Obi Wan let the force guide you... And what you're doing watch! You ass jack.

Obi" Watch your language Master Yoda."

Yoda"Hmm wussy is he that Obi-wan. "

Teams are now off to the first detour.

In this Detour, teams choose between Shop or Schlep.

In Shop, teams must go to to Mercado Central (and nearby Mercado Vega Chica) and find the Donde Augusto restaurant where the chef gave them a shopping list. Teams had to buy the five ingredients on the shopping list for the chef. When they have gotten the proper amount of each item for the chef, the chef would hand them their next clue.

In Schlep, teams went to Libreria Chilena, received a cart and had to deliver 180 books to Biblioteca del Congreso Nacional (Spanish) from a bookstore. When all 180 books have been delivered and placed on a shelf, teams would be handed their next clue.

Teams doing Shop:

Alf and E.T

Hannibal and Jigsaw

Kermit and Miss Piggy

Mr Burns and Smithers

Spongebob and Patrick

Statler and Waldorf

Teams doing Schlep:

Bob and Susan

Bumblebee and Optimus

Mark and Roger

Scooby and Shaggy

Simba and Nala

Yoda and Obi-wan

SHOP

Highlights

*Spongebob finds a shopping cart and wheels Patrick around while they search out ingredients.

*Kermit hops to it while Miss Piggy enjoys some bonbons. .

*Alf and E.T use their noses to sniff out the ingredients. They do really well at this but get a little held up because they also use their tongues to taste and confirm that they got the right ingredients.

Lowlights

*Hannibal frantically looks around for Jigsaw who has disappeared. Jigsaw shows up 10 minutes later wheeling a very large guillotine. Hannibal informs him that they are supposed to be "shopping"! not "Chopping"!but does compliment him on finding such a nice guillitine and such a short period of time.

*Miss Piggy laughs at Hannibal and Jigsaw's mistake until they look at each other and say at the same time... "Pork chop?" Miss piggy drops her bonbons and runs off to help Kermit

Quotes

Statler: Hey Kermit you know what your wife does?

Kermit" What?"

Waldorf "She brings home the bacon dohohohohoho"

Burns: Ah Smithers now a gourmet such as myself with such an impeccable palette should have no problem securing the perfect produce and other fine ingredients to soothe the savage chef so to say. Come Smithers let's shop til we drop. At which point Burns who is so engrossed in talking to Smithers drops right into a very large opened man hole leaving Smithers going: "Mr Burns? Mr Burns?" Where'd he go?"Once Smithers retrieves Mr. Burns from the hole they get on their way again.

SCHLEP

Highlights

*Susan finds an introduction to Spanish book and starts teaching Bob how to speak spanish as they transport their books.

*While Scooby and Shaggy or schleping their books they pull a book off a shelf revealing a secret tunnel that leads them to a short cut at the back of the biblioteca.

*Yoda and Obi use the force to transport the books.

Lowlights

*Mark: We're not going to payyy last years fine...this years fine.

Roger in an attempt to shut him up 'accidentally' hits him with a book, causing him to stop singing.

Roger says: "That's fine with me"

*Simba and Nala work hard moving the books one at a time using their powerful jaws but this takes a long time and sets them back.

*Bumblebeee plays Elvis Costello's "Everyday I write the book". People start dancing and block their way slowing down the autobots.

Quotes

Simba to Nala: "This is one of those times I really wish I had aposable thumbs"

Scooby" rooby rooby roo ri rink re found a recret rassage"

Shaggy" Like zoinks Scoob do you think this will lead us to that hot chilli?"

Scooby"Rrrrmmm rot rauce"

Susan: "Oh Bob here try saying this in spanish....donde es la biblioteca?"

PIT STOP

1st to arrive is Shaggy and Scooby. "Shaggy and Scooby, " says Adam, "you're team #1!!" Shaggy: "Zowie Wowie! Scoob we did it! We won this leg!"Scooby: "Rooby dooby roooooo hnhee hnheee hnheee hnheee." "As the winners of this leg of the race you have won a year's supply of chilli from Chile. Also a Deluxe gourmet pizza with Ice cream, chocolate sauce, Anchovies, garlic, triple cheese and olives on it. And a visit to an all you can eat buffet over there. " Adam is caught in a whrilwind as Shaggy and Scooby head to the buffet.Shaggy: "Mmm thank goodness for that pizza, moving books sure does work up an appetite."

2nd to arrive is Alf and E.T. Adam congratulates Alf and ET but they both push past him running after Shaggy and Scooby toward the buffet table.Adam: "Wow if those two can move as fast for the next leg of the race as they can for the buffet they will be a tough team to beat!"

3rd to arrive is Miss Piggy and Kermit. Adam: "Adam: Kermit you really used those Frog's legs to hop into action for this Detour, Kermit and Piggy you are team number 3!" Piggy: "Oh Kermy! Good job you little green go-getter. mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa. That's my Kermy."

Bob and Susan come in 4th. Bob spies a plate of jello on the table near the pit stop and starts chatting it up.He tries out his new Spanish words on it. Jola Mammasita es la bonnita mammasita. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZCorGKACTU

Yoda and Obi-wan use the force to slide into 5th place. "Yoda and Obi," says Adam, "you're team #5!"

Next to arrive is Statler and Waldorf. "Statler and Waldorf, " says Adam, "you're team #6!" "Hey Adam, you know I just figured out your style. You work like Jeremy Kyle." "Jeremy Kyle's not a race show host." "Well...." Adam "I've got a good mind to punch you in the nose." Statler and Waldorf"Please not while I'm holding it."

Rolling into 7th place is Bumblebee and Optimus. "Bumblebee and Optimus, " says Adam, "you're team #7!"

Mark and Roger arrive in 8th place after transporting the books. "Mark and Roger, " says Adam, "you're team #8!"

Spongebob and Patrick arrive in 9th place. "Spongebob and Patrick you're the 9th team to arrive and you are still in the race." "Bahahahahhaa," says Spongebob as he goes off with Patrick to eat a krabby pattie.

Simba and Nala arrive in 10th place. "Simba and Nala, " says Adam. The two lions look very sad at the thought of being eliminated. "You're team #10!" "What?" says Simba. They start singing "Oh I just can't waaiiiiit to be first." as they leave the check in mat.

"

Hannibal and Jigsaw arrive in 11th place. Adam (on his megaphone again): "Hannibal and Jigsaw, you are team number 11 and still in the race!" Hannibal mutters something about hot chill toes And then asks Adam what size shoe he wears. "Zoinks, " says Adam.

Mr Burns and Smithers arrive last. "Mr Burns and Smithers, " says Adam, "you are the last team to arrive. I am sorry to tell you you have both been eliminated from the race." Burns: How can this be? This is impossible Smithers. Adam I will buy this TV network and have you host children's show on Saturday mornings with snot nosed little brats!"

Smithers: Sorry sir we tried our best.

Mr Burns" Try is not good enough, Smithers. Release the hounds!!"