Commercial #3

We finished it. Just in time too. This week on the amazing race things get a little bit hairy and a little bit scary....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCSg-RshUhU

Amazing Race Contest Episode 2 Recap

Teams are headed to Munich, Germany. Once they get there they must drive themselves to the village of Ruhpolding and ride in a cable car to the top of the mountain. Once there, they will receive their next clue.

Because Hermione and Luna came in first, they are first to depart. The rest of the tea

ms will follow in the order they arrived. They are all off to the airport. While in the car the teams use mobile phones to call up the airlines. Somehow, Freddy and Jason call Chewbacca and Han Solo so Han pretends to be an airline travel person. Luckily for them, Freddy and Jason think that it was a mistake on their part so the Wookie is safe: that was a close shave.

Teams get on flights and are on their way. They make their way to Ruhpolding and find their next clue.

This is the team's first ROADBLOCK. Who is ready to fly like an eagle? In this roadblock teams must paraglide with an instructor. The jump is more than 6,000 feet. Their partner must take the gondola back down the mountain and wait. If it's unsafe teams have the option of running do

The teams decide among themselves who will go for the roadblock.wn the hill.

Daphnne: Fred! Save me! Save me and my hair!

Ernie:Hey Bert watch me fly. Watch me fly, Bert.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Bert you should try this too Bert it's fun!

Freddy: Jason slices some holes in Freddy's paraglider so that he plummets to the bottom of the hill gaining some extra time for Freddy and Jason.

Han Solo: I wish I had my millenium falcon here. Where's the warp speed button on this baby?

Luke: Hey Leia, if I can fly an X-wing fighter through a tiny hole in the Death Star Canteen this should be a piece of cake.

Homer:Homer paraglides through the drive-thru of a donut shop. Mmmmm Donuts, mmmmm. He flies over Bert with the donut box and a donut falls on Bert's head. Ernie comes up to Bert. "Hey Bert, I like your new hat, Bert."

"Ernie! Get this thing off me!"

"Sure thing Bert." And proceeds to eat the donut off the top of Bert's head "Mmmm that was delicious. Got any more?"

"ERNIE!"

Bert puts Ernie in a chokehold, prompting Freddy and Jason to say to one another "Guess we'll be seeing them on the next Jeremy Kyle show."

Hermione: Hermione says that this is just as easy as flying a broom.

Fluttershy: Fluttershy flies. She tries to rescue all the birds she sees on her way down.

Frodo: "Oh, Sam, hobbits should always have their feet on the ground not the air...ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" "Wow,"says Sam, "I didn't know Frodo could scream like a little girl."

Saruman: "FOR NARNIAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND FOR ASLANNNNNNNNNNN.....Oh wait wrong movie." Gandalf says"Oh fool of a wizard. Why don't you rid me of your stupidity?"

Sheldon: "Leonard and Penny, Leonard and Penny, Leonard and Pennnny.......hmmm...now that I've calculated the precise wind speed and nose tilt angle this is actually kind of liberating. "

Ross: "Rachel I'm scared! I'm scared!" Rachel acts all sexy "Come on you big boy,"she says kissing him on the cheek. He jumps off.

Robin: Batman says to Robin "Remember everything I taught you about flying the bat jet!!!" Robin leaps off yelling "But I only have my learner's permit!"

Placing of the Teams:

Han Solo and Chewy are in 1st: They found a warp drive button and pulled into second place.

Freddy and Jason are in 2nd. Freddy gets mad after a quick descent to the bottom. He yells at Jason. And says that doesn't Jason remember what they learned on the Jeremy Kyle show. Jason yells back that he was just trying to give them a competitive edge.

Daphnne and Velma are currently in 3rd because Daphnne had to stop to fix her hair.

Barney and Homer: Barney and Homer are in 4th due to running on Donut Power.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: They are in 5th and now have lots of bird fr

iends.

Ernie and Bert: They fall to 6th place due to the donut dilemma.

Sheldon and Leonard: Sheldon calculated such a perfect angle and demonstrated a perfect landing allowing him and Leonard to make 7th place.

Luke and Leia: He tried to fly his glider into a tiny hole in the Death Star's Canteen so he could get some Penne All'Arriabiata and he fell to 8th place.

Hermione and Luna: They fell to 9th place. All Hermione had to say about that was oopsie, maybe it's not flying a broom after all.

Frodo and Sam: After being blown off course by 100 metres, Frodo and Sam bring up 10th place.

Batman and Robin: Robin screams "Batman we never covered parking" and promptly crashed the glider. Batman should've remembered that the last time he tried to teach Robin to drive he had to take the Batmobile to the repair shop. They are Team #11

Gandalf and Saruman: They come in 12th because Ross accidentally cut them off causing them to crash and Saruman turned Ross into a

pogo stick so Rachel rides the pogo stick to the detour where she convinces Gandalf to change him back.

Rachel and Ross: Are in 13th place. See above.

Teams now have to drive themselves to Schonau Am Konigsee. Once there they will have their first DETOUR. In this detour teams have the choice between BALANCING DOLLY or AUSTRIAN FOLLY. In Balancing Dolly teams must ride a Segway along a 2 mile obstacle course. At the end of the course they'll receive their next clue. In Austrian Folly teams

must go into a party tent and throw pies at a target. What they don't know is

The teams choose their detours.that the target is their partner's face. They must take turns smacking each other in the face until they find a pie with a cherry centre. The band leader will give them their next clue.

Chewy and Han Solo: They choose the pies because Chewy is hungry. He hopes it's an eating contest.

Daphnne and Velma: They choose the segways.

Luke and Leia: They choose the segways.

Barney and Homer: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm pies.

Ernie and Bert: Due to their biker gang, they choose the segways.

Hermione and Luna: They choose the segways

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: They choose the pies.

Freddy and Jason: They choose the pies.

Frodo and Sam: They choose the segways

Gandalf and Saruman: They choose the pies.

Leonard and Sheldon: They choose the pies due to Sheldon's terrible video game driving skills.

Ross and Rachel: They head to the pies after the wizards.

Batman and Robin: They do the segways.

BALANCING DOLLY(SEGWAYS)

HIGHLIGHTS

* Ernie and Bert admit that they are part of a renegade biker gang in Sesame Street, cruising the sesame streets. They tell others that the gang is the Alphabet Blockheads. They do wheelies on their segways.

LOWLIGHTS

*Robin crashes causing Batman to ask him "where did you get your licence? Out of a cereal box?" Robin promptly says "You should know you gave it to me."

*Frodo and Sam stand on each others shoulders and keep falling down. This prompts Sam to argue with Frodo to which Frodo replies "Don't get short with me!"

QUOTES

Luke and Leia "I wonder how Han is doing at the pie contest.I hope Chewy hasn't eaten all the pies."

Hermione"Nice segway."

....

And now the pie contest.

AUSTRIAN FOLLY

*Highlights

*Barney and Homer do exceptionally well at the pie challenge. Homer catches the pies in his mouth then opens his mouth to show Barney "Seefood" "Mmmmmm Seefood"

*In a genius move, Freddy and Jason replace the knife blades in Freddy's glove, with pie lifters, giving them a competitive edge.

*Lowlights

Chewbacca has cheesed off Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason are mad because they've been running down wind from Chewbacca who is still feeling the effect of being lactose-intolerant and eating all that cheese. To get back at Chewy Freddy and Jason give him a haircut: a reverse mohawk. When Chewy complains they say they took lessons from their good friend Sweeney Todd. Han Solo says to Chewy "Well you know what they say, they're a cut above us. Let's get back in the race."

*The ponies get tangled up and get pie stuck in their hooves and end up sliding around the detour with pie tins stuck on their feet.

*Gandalf and Saruman and Rachel and Ross get held up as Rachel tries to convince them to turn Ross back to his human form instead of a pogo stick form.

Quotes

Leonard"Sheldon! Where's my lactase?"

Sheldon"Leonard I have observed that you can tolerate small amounts of nonfat ice cream without producing a noxious gas.So eat the dang pie"

Leonard"I don't want to end up like that furry fart machine.

The teams then go to a woodcutters and get a piece of wood stamped with their next clue.

Once teams have their clue they can proceed to the Schloss Hellbrunn which is the pit stop on this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.

Teams get their wood and head to the pit stop. At the pit stop a woman named Yvonne is standing there near Adam wearing a t-shirt with the words Jeremy Kyle superfan across it and holding a sign saying "Bring back Jeremy Kyle" and she offers to race with him in place of Oprah.

PIT STOP

Chewy's new haircut has made him more aero-dynamic, shaving minutes off their time, allowing them to come in 1st to the pit stop.

Han Solo says "Does anyone know where I can get a wookie steam-clean? This guy has cherry pie filling and cheese stuck in his fur?"

Chewy"Mwrorrrrrr"

"Well,"says Adam "As the winners of this leg of the race, you've won complimentary dry-cleaning services from the ABC Cleaning Company!And a one year supply of cherry pie. "

A footrace occurs between Ernie and Bert and Freddy and Jason. To try and slow Ernie and Bert down, Freddy hits Bert in the back of the head with a pie but it doesn't work and Ernie and Bert segway into second.

"Ernie!"says Bert "Get this thing off me."

"Hey Bert,"says Ernie "I like your berry Beret Bert."

"Ernie get this thing off me."

"Sure thing Bert."

Nyom Nyom Nyom.

"ERNIE!"

Ernie says to Han and Chewy "Can we get Bert's head steam cleaned?Because he's starting to smell like a wookie."

"ERNIE!!!!Don't let a pie hit me!"

Freddy and Jason slide into 3rd place. Adam stands surrounded by bodyguards. Adam says "How do you feel about being third?"

"We'd kill for second or first,"says Jason.

Homer and Barney bellyflop into 4th place. Adam asks how they did and they say it was a piece of cake, or a piece of pie.

Hermione and Luna magic their way into 5th place.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash come in 6th place, looking a little pie-eyed.

Leonard and Sheldon make their way to the pit stop. Adam says "Sheldon and Leonard you're team number #7!"

"See,"says Sheldon "You were okay after those pies. You haven't yet produced a noxious gas."

Leonard answers his comment by saying "Sheldon I've been clenching all the way. I can't hold it anymore!" and with that he does a huge fart. Sheldon faints and Adam and Leonard pull Sheldon off the mat and Han Solo says "Man and I thought the wookie was bad."

In a dynamic duel for 8th and 9th place, the hobbits bunnyhopped the blundering Batman and the Boy Wonder who crashed and rolled into 8th place. Adam asks them how they feel about coming in higher than they did last week. To which Sam replies "Well we got a bit short with each other but we're good now." The hobbits dance off the the elimination mat.

After a rough ride, where Robin knocked over all the local's letterboxes, a ruffled Batman and Robin secure 9th place. Adam asks them what went wrong on this leg of the race. Robin says "Batman, I think I need more practice in the Batmobile" to which Batman says "No way" and walks off mad. "Hey Bert," says Ernie "Do you think they'll end up on the Jeremy Kyle show?"

Daphnne and Velma got sidetracked on their segways by some mysterious reason but still managed to come in 10th. "Jinkies,"says Velma.

Luke and Leia come in 11th place. "Looks like the force has saved you yet again,"says Adam. "Lucky Lightsabers Leia,"says Luke, "We did it again." They high five each other and walk off the mat.

Gandalf and Saruman got held up by the pogo stick situation with Rachel and Ross, as they try to find the right spell to change Ross back. Ross was turned into one or two different things until they finally got it right. They cast a spell to get to the pit stop faster and received a 15 minute penalty for excessive use of magic. "We're wizards,"says Gandalf, "What else are we supposed to do?" But they still claim 12th place.

After several transformations including a pogo stick, a rubber ducky(courtesy of Ernie), a fruit basket and a hoover, a dishevelled Ross and Rachel walk to the pit stop. Ross lost his shoes and had to walk barefoot. Adam says "Ross and Rachel, you are the last team to arrive. I am sorry to tell you you have both been eliminated from the race. How do you feel?" A teary, whimpering Ross says "My feet are killing me and it really sucks to be a hoover!" To which Rachel puts her arm around Ross and says "Well Ross, you're still a great friend. "

Adam gets on his segway and is joined by Bert and Ernie the leaders of the Alphabet Blockheads, as they segway off into the sunset they unroll a banner behind them that says "This episode of the Amazing Race was brought to you by the letters F and U and by the number 2. " The three turn around and wink at the producers.

Episode #1 Recap

All the teams line up.

Adam the host: Welcome everyone. In just a few minutes our teams will leave on a race around the world. There is a clue waiting on your bags. When I give the word you can run over to your bags and open the clue. Read the clue and jump into one of the parked cars. Our teams will be racing for 1 million dollars. Is everybody ready? No? The world is waiting for you although I don't know if they're ready for you. GO!

Freddy and Jason are first to the clue. After a fight to get the clue Freddy slices it open. They're off to Zocano, Switzerland. Barney falls over drunk and knocks Homer into the bags. Homer opens the clue. Jeremy Kyle and Oprah interview their bag on the whereabouts of their missing clue. Velma and Daphnne solve the mystery and give Jeremy Kyle and Oprah the clue. Ernie and Bert are lagging behind as Ernie has lost his rubber ducky.

Eventually the teams get to the airport. Freddy and Jason get held up by the metal detectors but they manage to get through.

On the first flight departing, teams are:

Ernie and Bert

Freddy and Jason

Jeremy Kyle and Oprah

Daphnne and Velma

Homer and Barney

Chewbacca and Han Solo

Fluttershy and Rainbo

w Dash

On the second flight teams are:

Luke and Leia

Rachel and Ross

Batman and Robin

Gandalf and Saruman

Frodo and Sam

Hermione and Luna

Sheldon and Leonard

When the first flight lands teams are off on the train to Zurich.

When the second flight lands teams will catch their train in Milan.

At the train station in Milan, Rachel and Ross miss their train because Ross is whining about carrying all the luggage. Rachel tells him to shut up and hands him another piece of luggage to carry. They have to wait for the next train.

The first train is in Switzerland now.

When teams make it to Locarno they get a clue which tells them to go to the Church of San Antonio where they will sign a registrar and get a message from the priest.

The first team to make it to the registrar is Chewbacca and Han Solo and they sign in for the 7:15 am train. Ernie and Bert are next on the 7.15 am train followed by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and Daphnne and Velma.

The first team to sign in for the 7:30 am train is Jeremy Kyle and Oprah. Freddy and Jason and Homer and Barney sign up.

Meanwhile the other train has only just arrived. Sheldon and Leonard get the last seats on the 7.30 am train.

On the last train leaving at 7:45 is everybody else.

Teams get a picture and they're off to the Versazca Dam. They're off in their taxis.

Now it's time for the ROADBLOCK: Who has nerves of steel?

Chewbacca and Han Solo open the clue. To complete this roadblock one team member must do a death defying 70,000 foot bungee jump.

The team members performing the roadblock are:

Chewbacca : Han Solo pushes Chewbacca into doing it. Come on you big furball. As Chewy jumps all you can hear is the echo of MWRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Ernie: Ernie volunteers to do it. Before Ernie jumps he hands Bert the rubber ducky then leaps off saying WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Bert you should try it this is fun.

Rainbow Dash: Rainbow Dash just leaps off. She has no fear of heights.

Velma: Daphnne and Velma are scared. Zoinks. After a quick game of rock, paper, scissors Velma says Jinkies I guess I'll go. She leaps off with her eyes closed.

The teams on the 7:30 train have arrived now and they're deciding who will do the roadblock.

Barney: They argue for a bit before Homer bribes Barney with duff beer. Barney jumps. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP is all anyone can hear.

Jeremy Kyle: He just jumps. Boring. Next.

Leonard: Before he jumps Sheldon tells him the statistical probability of something going wrong. Leonard is scared but he jumps anyway he yells "PENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY"

Jason: Freddy and Jason argue over who is going to jump. Freddy says "Jason your shoes untied" then puts the bungee cord around his ankle as he bends down and pushes him over the side creating a new movie sequel Freddy v.s Jason 2.

The 7:45 train gets in.

Batman: Batman jumps. He has no fear and uses his own bat bungee for his utility belt.

Rachel: Ross and Rachel argue about who is going to jump. Rachel says "Ok, you big baby" and she jumps.

Gandalf: Gandalf and Saruman decide to flip a coin to see who jumps. But since they don't have any coins they toss Frodo in the air. Saruman wins the toss. Gandalf jumps. "Fly, you fools!"

Sam: Sam jumps because Frodo is dizzy from the coin toss.

Luna: Luna jumps.

Luke Skywalker: Luke jumps and Leia shouts "May the force be with you!"

The team catches transport to Interlaken, Switzerland to perform their next task. Transport 200 pounds of cheese down a hill. When teams have stacked all 200 pounds of cheese they will receive their next clue.

Highlights of the Cheese Task

*Oprah does well with the cheese task. After getting it to the bottom of the hill she gives it away to her audience after it's stacked.

*Bert and Ernie get extra points for Bert's incredibly organized cheese stacking.

*Homer and Barney slide down the hill with the cheese on the stomachs.

Lowlights of the Cheese Task

*Chewbacca eats the cheese in the run to the bottom of the hill and manage to convince the judges that they still transported it to the bottom of the hill, just inside Chewbacca, therefore they avoid any penalties.

* Freddy and Jason prove themselves quite adept at cheese-slicing.

* The cheese was as big as Frodo and Sam and it takes both of them to carry one cheese down the hill.

Quotations (Famous Quotes)

Han Solo: Chewbacca you're not supposed to eat the cheese

Chewy: MWRORRRRRRRRRRRR URGHRRRR RNNNHHHHH!

Luna: What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Hermione: Nacho Cheese.

Bert: Ernie! Ernie! Don't let a cheese hit me!

Frodo: Sam! That cheese is as big as you!

Batman: Robin think about the yoga classes we do!

Leonard: Why are you wearing gloves?

Sheldon: I can't touch that cheese with my bare hands. It's a rolling ball of bacteria!

Chewy and Han Solo finish the cheese task first. Teams that finish the cheese task can now make their way to the pit stop at Stechelberg. Once there they have to listen for a group of yodellers who will lead them to the pit stop.

Chewy is sluggish after eating the cheese and can't move very fast. This annoys Han Solo. He starts yelling insults Furball. Fleabag. Cheeseroller.

Meanwhile Ernie and Bert surge ahead. In a surprising turn of events Hermione and Luna sweep past all the competition on their brooms. They handle the cheese like they're in a big Quidditch match.

Hermione and Luna sweep their way in fact, all the way to the checkin mat where they find Adam standing at the pit stop looking annoyed at all the yodelling."Hermione and Luna, you're Team #1!" They dance and get all excited. "As the winners of this leg of the race you'll each receive a CD of The Latest Yodelling hits by Cheese ball and Swiss Cheesey with Guest Star Brie Camembert!" "I LOVE THEM!" says Luna.

Ernie and Bert make their way to Adam. "Ernie and Bert, you're team number #2!" Ernie and Bert high five each other and dance around Adam. Adam is not amused.Ernie and Bert sing "Rubber Ducky you're the one" and force Adam to pet the rubber ducky. Adam is not amused. Adam sends them off the mat to their mandatory rest period/ get out of my face rest place.

Freddy and Jason may have eliminated several citizens on their way to the pit stop. Adam stands quite a few feet back as they come to the check in mat. "Freddy and Jason you are team #3!" Freddy and Jason tell Adam that it's been a slice so far.

Han Solo and Chewbacca got held up. Chewbacca started coughing up cheese balls and is still on the slow side. Adam says "Han Solo and Chewbacca you are Team #4!" Han Solo says "Have you ever tried cleaning cheese out of a wookie's fur?" Chewbacca"Mwrorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Han Solo" Who knew that wookies could be lactose intolerant? We could've been first you furry, farting flea bag!!!!!"*

*Han Solo and Chewbacca will appear on the Jeremy Kyle show to talk about how cheese drove a wedge between their friendship. Adam: Funny, I didn't know cheese could drive. Producers: ADAM!!!

Checking in behind Han and Chewy are Homer and Barney! Adam says"Homer and Barney, you're team #5!" Their response? "Mmmmmmmmm, cheese. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP" Adam"That's amazing. That burping in sync. Can you teach me?"Barney, Adam and Homer "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP" Producers"ADAM we're warning you!"

Following closely behind Barney and Homer is Batman and Robin. They reach Adam and check in as Team #6. Robin"Flaming Fondo Forks, Batman, that was a lot of cheese" Batman"Luckily we did all that yoga."

Checking in shortly after Batman and Robin is the ponies! Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash check in Team #7. They smoked the cheese challenge. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" says Rainbow Dash. "Yay" says Fluttershy. "Louder!"says Rainbow Dash."Yay!" "Louder!" "GAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP.....Yay"

Not far behind is Sheldon and Leonard. "Sheldon and Leonard you're Team #8!" Sheldon: "According to my calculations ever since encountering Chewbaca that cheese went from solid, to liquid to gas in record time, Leonard"

Daphnne and Velma check in as Team #9. Adam says "Daphnne and Velma you're Team #9!" They say "Well Adam, we solved the mystery of the missing cheese....next week we'll solve the case of the missing knees" Adam"So that's where my cheese got to..." Producers"ADAM!"

Saruman races ahead of Gandalf to the checkin mat. "You shall not pass," yells Gandalf. He forces Saruman back so they step on the mat together. Adam says "Gandalf and Saruman, you're Team #10!" **

**Gandalf and Saruman will also be on the Jeremy Kyle show to talk about the road rules of passing.

Rachel and Ross find the pit stop. "Rachel and Ross, you're Team #11!" Ross smiles and says to Adam "After going through mud, sweat and cheese, we're still friends." Rachel nods in agreement.

Frodo and Sam head to the pit stop looking dejected. It took them about an hour to carry one cheese. Adam looks down at them. They are too short to even look in the eye. "Frodo and Sam," says Adam. "I am sorry to tell you....you are still in the race" Frodo and Sam look at each other shocked. They were sure they were in last. They dance and high five each other. Even going through a hobbit toss again is worth it. They are Team #12

Luke and Leia wasted 10 minutes looking for Yoda instead of yodelling but they come in and they make it to Adam. Adam looks at them "Luke and Leia, you're team #13!" "Oh wow!"says Luke , "The force was strong enough to keep us in the race!" Leia"Now we know what yodel is!"

Jeremy Kyle and Oprah make it to Adam. "Jeremy Kyle and Oprah, I am sorry to tell you you are the last team to arrive. You have both been eliminated from the race. " Oprah says " Well Adam we did our best and we had lots of fan support and we're sorry we won't be going on. But as a consolation prize those audience members sitting in the studio if you just check under your chairs you'll see a gift certificate for a 100 pound cheese wheel for everyone in Oprah's audience today. " Jeremy Kyle says "Adam those other contestants better be careful of that team Jason and Freddy because this is what happens when people aren't hugged enough as children they grow up to be vicious killers like Freddy and Jason. Freddy and Jason come on my show and we'll get you the help you need. You can make that change"***

***Stay tuned for Freddy and Jason on the Jeremy Kyle show.

Jeremy Kyle and Oprah came in last because on their way to the pit stop, Oprah and Jeremy got stopped by adoring fans and ended up signing autographs for about 20 minutes putting them in last place and Oprah, being one to never disappoint her fans couldn't resist.

Adam the host says "Join us next week as 13 teams race around the world for 1 million dollars. Oh and by the way producers,"he screams, "It's NACHO cheese producers, NACHO cheese!" as he rolls a giant cheese wheel off the set.

On the next episode of the Amazing Race Chewbacca has cheesed off his competitors once again. You know what they say Chewy, cheese goes well with grapes.